


the art of letting go.

by bubblyminyoongi



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Bang Chan is Whipped, Hurt No Comfort, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Felix are Best Friends, I'm Going to Hell, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Minor Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, References to Depression, Requited Unrequited Love, Sad Ending, all just Angst, hyunchan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:47:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29474211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblyminyoongi/pseuds/bubblyminyoongi
Summary: chan writes an angry love letter to hyunjin. to his surprise, the letter somehow ends up in hyunjin's hands.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin & Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Kudos: 15





	the art of letting go.

**Author's Note:**

> please do not post my work on other platforms without asking me and giving me credit. comments are appreciated!

_to you, my dearest hyunjin,_

_it's been quite awhile since i last saw your smiling face. sometimes i wonder if it's my fault. is it anybody's fault? i don't think you would've put the blame on somebody, you aren't selfish like i am. and since you can't bring yourself to be angry, i'll shift the blame onto myself. maybe, just maybe, you can read this letter from somewhere else and smile, because i miss that damn smile so much. i'm sorry. i'm not quite sure what i am apologizing for, but i feel like you deserve an apology. ~~how have you been?~~ are you really better off somewhere else? do you finally feel free? i can only hope that you do. you used to love writing, you sent me adorable love letters all the time, even if my dense and oblivious ass couldn't decipher what was considered flirtatious and what was considered friendly. i still keep them in my room, i read them whenever i can. i'm stupid, i know. i'm also stupidly in love with you. _

_felix misses you dearly. i miss you dearly. i haven't seen his eyes light up the same when he laughs since you went away. i'm worried that this letter is guilt-tripping you into coming back, i promise you that it isn't my intention. i just miss you. so much. everything reminds me of you now. today, i walked through a park. i saw the golden sunset and it reminded me of your eyes. it's autumn now, you left in the summer. the crisp air doesn't have the same appeal anymore. nothing does now. changbin gifted felix some chocolates yesterday. it made me remember your sweet tooth, you loved chocolates and marshmallows. you loved sweet things, i thought it was endearing. this is getting ridiculous. last week, a blonde-haired girl walked into the coffee shop i still work at. my dumb heart leaped as i caught a glimpse of her hair. i really thought it was you. i felt a sliver of hope, hope that you finally came back. hope that i could get the chance to love you the way you deserve to be loved. i heard your voice echo through my brain. i heard your laugh, and i heard you say my name. but i knew it was too good to be true. i was left disappointed and desperate again. i can't help but to ask you this, even if i'll make a fool out of myself. did i miss my chance? you loved me, didn't you? did you really? but i only started loving you when it was too late. did you feel it go? did you just decide that it was enough? i lost my chance, huh? i didn't know that love could be so damn painful._

_but the things i feel towards you are inexplicable, i would never be able to put it into coherent sentences. you and i are one of a kind, and if we try hard enough, our story can become history. i love everything about you, you're haunting me and taunting me. i love how you unconsciously twirled your hair, i love how you wore oversized hoodies that engulfed your body. i love the fact that your body fit perfectly in my hands when we hugged. i love how my hand looked around your throat and i love your lips. i love the giggles you emitted. i love you with every fiber in me. i, bang christopher chan, am hopelessly in love with you, hwang hyunjin. and i'll scream it from the rooftops._

_i hope that one day, we can love each other properly._

_with brevity (which i so clearly lack),_

_bang chan._

as hyunjin read the last line, a single tear drop landed next to chan's name. when one droplet fell, thousands fell straight after. with a shaky sigh, he got up and stood next to the window. the sky was grey, rain was pouring down onto society. the sky was crying with him. hyunjin had created a rainstorm.


End file.
